Bad to worse?

Well, if you're talking about my relationship with my mother, yeah, it is bad to worse. Although I had thought it was getting better, actually, since my stepfather died last year and I've been spending more time coming down to Florida to help my mother with ... well, life. But between my temper and stubbornness and her temper and stubbornness and Alzheimer's, the going has not been entirely smooth. Oddly, those times when I could recognize the Alzheimer's symptoms, those I have found easier to deal with than the old patterns--you know, the ones where she pushes my buttons because she's the one who put them there.

But now she's found this new "friend"--a neighbor who has been both helpful and very much not. In what is really old behavior for my mother, she's choosing to trust her and distrust me and this is an awful situation. Not looking forward to the meeting that we're having on Thursday with mom's lawyer, to which my mother has invited this woman. Not sure my mother will be speaking to me afterwards, but as long as I know that both her and, frankly, my needs are being met, I'll be okay with that. I just don't think it's going to be pretty.

Here's the thing: this woman (the neighbor) is inflicting more pain on me, whether she means to or not, and I have had enough of it. I really would love to find a way to keep her away from my mother entirely, but I don't think that's possible, at least not right now. Meantime, I'm sitting here at 2 in the morning, unable to sleep because of the conversation I had with my mother, where she as much as told me that this other woman is closer to her than I am. Those were pretty much her words.

So I guess you could say that I'm losing her to Alzheimer's before I have to, thanks to this neighbor.

Anyway, not sure sleep is possible right now, but I'll try again soon.