Changes

I've been in business for more than 15 years now and a large part of that time I've had Sharks who work with me. And it's such a cross-section of women (it's almost always been women and it's been entirely women for the last decade or so) with such different lives and I get to see and hear about all sorts of things that in a way become part of my life. To wit:

A Shark I only just started working with turned back two files because her marriage just ended this morning. I feel so bad for her, esp. since she thinks that this means I won't work with her again. Of course, I don't work like that, plus I need all the help I can get, I'm not going to cut her loose unless her work really suffers.

One Shark's son has had some very scary medical problems over the last 9 months and they're still dragging him around to different doctors, including the Mayo Clinic (which is relatively nearby) to try to find out what is causing them.

Another Shark, who hardly works with me anymore, but is a good friend who's "lending" me her husband for a few days to help with my mother, has two grandkids with cystic fibrosis. One of them is waiting to get on the waiting list for a new set of lungs.

Another Shark is in Indonesia, where her husband is stationed with the State Dept., except lately he's been going to Kabul for extended periods.

Another Shark had a life-threatening illness last year involving several days' stay in a hospital.

And, of course, one Shark just lost her life due to breast cancer about a month ago. I still find it both hard to believe and terribly upsetting. Can't really think about it without crying a little bit.

There's always something else. Some of it is good--babies being born, fun trips taken. I guess this is a way of saying that I've got this incredible window on life just from my Sharks and I want to find a way of letting them know that I appreciate them, not just for the work they do, but for their friendship and that window.

feeling funny

My head feels a little funny all of a sudden. There's a little bit of a headache, but there's also some pressure kind of feeling...I dunno. Just thought I'd make a note of it.

I booked myself a small vacation yesterday. My first cruise! Maybe my last, too, we'll see how it goes. I don't even have the dates set yet, I can do that tomorrow. I'm really very nervous about it, there were a lot of bad reviews for this cruise line/ship, but also a lot of positive ones. I think as long as I'm not expecting something great, I probably won't be disappointed.

Forgot

I was reading back a little ways and realized that I hadn't mentioned that my stepfather died in January. It's odd how unaffected I was/am by this, other than it's changed my relationship with my mother. She feels alone now, but she hates that "other people" (namely me) seems to know all about her life. Because I have access to her IRA and money market account, so I can see online to whom she writes a check and how it much it is and when and where and for how much she uses her Visa card, because it's really a debit card.

There's so much I need to be doing to help her and I'm having a hard time getting it all done, for numerous reasons, at least one of which is that I don't know what to do half the time. And then there's the part about needing to spend time working and having a life. And I don't want to face the things that I do have to do, including flying down there again, so I put that off and it's costing more as a result.

Argh. Anyway, I made pumpkin muffins again tonight. Given some to a couple of people already, but I think I'm going to have one for dessert tonight. There, how's that for ending on a bright note?