RIP Smartie

It's been over a week now. I know I still can't write much about him, but I was just trying to get to sleep and broke out in tears again. It's funny, I'm able to spend nearly an entire day now not thinking about him...okay, not crying about him all the time. And then, wham! Something brings it home to me and I'm not just crying, but out-and-out sobbing. I know this will abate eventually, it's just weird.

I miss him like hell. And he wasn't even my favorite cat! But I know I've been more upset about him than I will be about my mother, when that time comes. (Watch, she'll outlive me. But with any luck, she'll have forgotten who I am by then. This may sound callous, but seriously, this would not be unwelcome. But that's for another post.) Smartie was my companion for more than 14 years, not quite as long as Randy. I am really pissed off that he didn't give me one more year, at least. But I am grateful for the time I had with him. I wish both that I had let him go sooner and that I had waited some more to see if he would have gotten better, at least for a little while longer. But I think I read the signs right--he was ready to go. Or, if not ready, at least I didn't wait until he suffered any more than he already had. He had quite a life and so many people were touched by his passing than I would have thought. He was also quite a character. Okay, there's the waterspouts again.

Anyway, I came in to adjust my bio or whatever they call it, since I'm no longer a stereotypical spinster. I will probably get another cat...someday. I have to finish paying off this one's vet bills first. Though I did see a poster for a simply gorgeous red male kitty today...

Nah.

Gasp!

Wow, I'm here again! And it's still June!

Seriously, I'm too tired to write much now, but I just thought I'd pop in and say hi. I finally read the Times Magazine cover article by/about Emily Gould and I realized that, while I can't say that I identify with her, I do understand her. . . a little. There's this need to talk about oneself, have a conversation with a blog. Even though I know there's only maybe one person reading this besides myself (and I'm not even sure about her). Because, believe me, even as little as I blog here, I'm still doing more writing for this than almost anything else.

Other, that is, than my website, which is still not ready, but I think we're making progress. I suppose I'll link to it when I'm done. Maybe.

Anyway, I have to medicate the cat in a little while. Talk about a rollercoaster! Turns out I was overdosing him on pain meds, so he was at what seemed like death's door--and perhaps he was. I'm sure there's more to come with him, but I am a lot more hopeful than I was, say, 36 hours ago. At least I've stopped crying.

I'll be back.

June 1st

I guess it's time for my semi-annual blog post. That's how often I seem to get myself in here, at any rate.

So much has gone on, is going on. I am really loving life today. That's today. A few days ago, I was a complete nervous wreck because my cat was sick. A visit to the vet and several hundred dollars later, he's on good meds and he's nearly back to normal. Including being a PIA, of course--but today, I love this!

Beautiful day out today and I got to go out twice! (Second time was to pick up fabulously expensive meds for said cat.) Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with a friend, a less-rare treat than it used to be, though I worry that this friend and her husband may get tired of me.

I'm not going to say that I'm going to blog again soon (that's a verb now, right? Oy...), because ya just never know what's going to happen next. But I'm starting to make progress on a couple of other things by deciding to spend a few minutes on one thing, then a few minutes on something else...in-between work, of course. There's so much to do, but if I keep at it this way, I'll get through it all.

One thing I'll mention before I close is that I started the process of getting a new website. I hired a friend with whom I play mah jongg and I really like what she's shown me so far--I just have to get her more content so she can get it all together when she's ready. I am making progress on that! I can't wait to see it all up and everything. And I'm trying not to panic about the launch of my second business, about which I've done almost nothing. I'm still not sure what to charge people. And I'm concerned that the profit margin for this is so incredibly low that it may not be worth it to run. But I'm willing to learn.

So, that's it for now. If I'm not back in a day or two or three, then I hope it's less than six months.