It's been over a week now. I know I still can't write much about him, but I was just trying to get to sleep and broke out in tears again. It's funny, I'm able to spend nearly an entire day now not thinking about him...okay, not crying about him all the time. And then, wham! Something brings it home to me and I'm not just crying, but out-and-out sobbing. I know this will abate eventually, it's just weird.
I miss him like hell. And he wasn't even my favorite cat! But I know I've been more upset about him than I will be about my mother, when that time comes. (Watch, she'll outlive me. But with any luck, she'll have forgotten who I am by then. This may sound callous, but seriously, this would not be unwelcome. But that's for another post.) Smartie was my companion for more than 14 years, not quite as long as Randy. I am really pissed off that he didn't give me one more year, at least. But I am grateful for the time I had with him. I wish both that I had let him go sooner and that I had waited some more to see if he would have gotten better, at least for a little while longer. But I think I read the signs right--he was ready to go. Or, if not ready, at least I didn't wait until he suffered any more than he already had. He had quite a life and so many people were touched by his passing than I would have thought. He was also quite a character. Okay, there's the waterspouts again.
Anyway, I came in to adjust my bio or whatever they call it, since I'm no longer a stereotypical spinster. I will probably get another cat...someday. I have to finish paying off this one's vet bills first. Though I did see a poster for a simply gorgeous red male kitty today...
Nah.
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