Today, a friend's email reminded me of going to see off and off-off-Broadway plays many, many years ago and how exciting it could be. In particular, I remembered seeing two different productions of "Modigliani" in two different venues, one of which was somebody's living room. At least one of those productions had Jeffrey DeMunn and one had Ethan Phillips, who was later on Star Trek:Voyager as Neelix. I've probably still got the programs from those shows, I wonder if anyone else made it to become working actors, like those two.
I was also reminded of how much I miss going to the theater. And, just in case I wasn't sure about that, I turned on the TV for a few minutes this afternoon and came in at about the halfway point of South Pacific at Carnegie Hall. I've always loved the music for the show, though I've long hated Josh Logan's filmed version (no, it doesn't help to know he was in a manic phase when he made that movie). I even sort of bought into Reba McIntire's Nellie Forbush, though the thickness of her accent was a bit jarring.
But it was Brian Stokes Mitchell's amazing rendition of "This Nearly Was Mine" that pushed me over the edge--I was sobbing. And I cried at the end, too, but it wasn't the emotions of the play that moved me, or maybe it was a little...in fact, at the end, I wasn't sure why I was crying, except for an incredible longing for the years I spent going to see wonderful, amazing shows, and even the awful, dreadful things I sat through (Kate Hepburn's last play or "The Little Prince") were worth the price of being able to see all the good plays with great performances (or sometimes vice versa). And a longing to be going there again, but knowing that the Broadway of today is not the kind of Broadway that I remember or would necessarily want to be a part of or a witness to.
This all follows on the heels of seeing a PBS show called Broadway: The Golden Age. A lot of wonderful performers talk about what it was like back in the 40s and especially the 50s and 60s--a lot of that time, I was seeing some of those plays myself. But the best part of that documentary was that the producer managed to dig up Laurette Taylor's screen test for some movie studio--I finally got to see her! Hear her! Watch her act! For only a few seconds, less than a minute, but, oh, what a wonderful, wonderful, EXCITING few moments! I had been hearing about Ms. Taylor more than 30 years ago, about how she had been the best there ever was. And everyone interviewed in the doc who had had the chance to see said exactly that. And they--oh, yes, I am jealous, I am--had gotten to see her again and again and again. That small, tiny clip made me realize what they were all talking about--she was...amazing. Which doesn't seem to do her justice, but it's all I can come up with.
All of this is to say that, when I heard "This Nearly Was Mine" and watched the curtain calls again later on, I think I was crying for a lost time, a time that I loved. I hope that nostalgia isn't all I have left, but I miss the acting, I miss the joy and passion of it all. Maybe I'll be able one day to have at least a taste of it again.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Invitation
Yes, it's been a while since I've been here. Seems like a long while, but it's only been four days. Five? Okay, five. Whatever. Things were busy the last time I was here, remember? Well, it got busier.
I went to the laundromat the other day. Exciting, huh? But what was different this time was that when I got there, I realized that I'd forgotten to bring something to read. Quel domage! (If that's how it's spelled.)
Fortunately, someone had left a book behind. Turns out to be a book about writing. Now, I already have at least a couple of those here at home and I've been avoiding reading them, because I was afraid they'd make me miss writing even more than I already do (though I'm very, very good at avoiding those feelings, burying them so deep you'd hardly know they're there). But, there I was, in the laundromat with nothing to read. I can be alone with my thoughts just fine, thanks (and, really, aren't we all "alone with our thoughts", come to think of it?), but not for an hour and a half at the laundromat.
Besides, it wasn't a book about writing that I would have normally chosen for myself. It was written by a Zen Buddhist writer. Not that I have anything against Zen Buddhism, but I was afraid it would be too, oh, I dunno, touchy-feely or New Age-y or something.
And, okay, it was a little of that. It was also (and I only got about halfway through the darn thing) a lot of stuff I already knew, had read before or heard in group discussions or on TV or something. But a couple of things stood out. Again, stuff I already knew. This was more of a reminder. (Okay, Sharon, enough with the stalling.)
You have to make a commitment to writing. Now, I suppose this could be said about anything. In fact, a couple of days ago, I heard about a neuroscientist who's done research that shows that change is perceived in the brain as pain. Which explains why change is so very, very difficult to achieve. The only way to get someone to change or, in this case, to change one's self is to think a lot about what you want to change and why and then make a habit out of the new behavior. You really have to understand the change you want and then pretty much force yourself to behave in the new way and then, slowly but surely, the change occurs. So, if you commit yourself to writing every day, even for a short period of time, eventually you will have written something and you'll be a writer.
Okay, nothing really new there, except for the change=pain thing. But there was one little Buddhist nugget that got me and I'll probably have to explain why some other time, because it's complicated and I'm not sure I do want to go into it here, but...
It's important to let your writing go. That is, you have to show it to others, share it with them, or it's not as good as just keeping it for yourself. Now, as you can see from the title and subtitle of this blog, I did not intend to share this. Which is not to say I haven't toyed with the idea of opening it up to others, but I haven't told anyone that it's here at this point and I didn't really think I was ready to do so. And maybe I'm not, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to choose two people (one of whom I've already picked out), for starters, and see what happens. Maybe nothing. But I will offer it to a tiny portion of the Universe and let the Universe do what it will.
Welcome, friends.
I went to the laundromat the other day. Exciting, huh? But what was different this time was that when I got there, I realized that I'd forgotten to bring something to read. Quel domage! (If that's how it's spelled.)
Fortunately, someone had left a book behind. Turns out to be a book about writing. Now, I already have at least a couple of those here at home and I've been avoiding reading them, because I was afraid they'd make me miss writing even more than I already do (though I'm very, very good at avoiding those feelings, burying them so deep you'd hardly know they're there). But, there I was, in the laundromat with nothing to read. I can be alone with my thoughts just fine, thanks (and, really, aren't we all "alone with our thoughts", come to think of it?), but not for an hour and a half at the laundromat.
Besides, it wasn't a book about writing that I would have normally chosen for myself. It was written by a Zen Buddhist writer. Not that I have anything against Zen Buddhism, but I was afraid it would be too, oh, I dunno, touchy-feely or New Age-y or something.
And, okay, it was a little of that. It was also (and I only got about halfway through the darn thing) a lot of stuff I already knew, had read before or heard in group discussions or on TV or something. But a couple of things stood out. Again, stuff I already knew. This was more of a reminder. (Okay, Sharon, enough with the stalling.)
You have to make a commitment to writing. Now, I suppose this could be said about anything. In fact, a couple of days ago, I heard about a neuroscientist who's done research that shows that change is perceived in the brain as pain. Which explains why change is so very, very difficult to achieve. The only way to get someone to change or, in this case, to change one's self is to think a lot about what you want to change and why and then make a habit out of the new behavior. You really have to understand the change you want and then pretty much force yourself to behave in the new way and then, slowly but surely, the change occurs. So, if you commit yourself to writing every day, even for a short period of time, eventually you will have written something and you'll be a writer.
Okay, nothing really new there, except for the change=pain thing. But there was one little Buddhist nugget that got me and I'll probably have to explain why some other time, because it's complicated and I'm not sure I do want to go into it here, but...
It's important to let your writing go. That is, you have to show it to others, share it with them, or it's not as good as just keeping it for yourself. Now, as you can see from the title and subtitle of this blog, I did not intend to share this. Which is not to say I haven't toyed with the idea of opening it up to others, but I haven't told anyone that it's here at this point and I didn't really think I was ready to do so. And maybe I'm not, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to choose two people (one of whom I've already picked out), for starters, and see what happens. Maybe nothing. But I will offer it to a tiny portion of the Universe and let the Universe do what it will.
Welcome, friends.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Are you sure it's Tuesday? Feels like Monday...
Okay, I don't know why I even bothered getting out of bed today. But I did. My doorbell rang and, because I was expecting some work to arrive via DHL and/or Fedex, I sprang up out of a deep sleep and ran to the door. The sleepiness part comes in when I tell you that I had to go downstairs (because my intercom doesn't work, natch) and discovered a Fedex envelope laying in-between the two doors--and I went to get it. In my nightgown and robe.
But no keys.
If my upstairs neighbor, a medical student, hadn't come home early, I'd still be out there, because no one else was home in the building (there's only six apartments).
And it's gone sort of downhill from there. I say "sorta" because, really, I can't complain when work comes in. But why does it have to be all at once? I already *had* work here, don't my clients know that? But no, they won't space it all out so I can do it all myself, I have to bring in 5 or 6 or 7 other people to help me. And I'm still not sure it'll all get done in time.
But it will. I hope.
But no keys.
If my upstairs neighbor, a medical student, hadn't come home early, I'd still be out there, because no one else was home in the building (there's only six apartments).
And it's gone sort of downhill from there. I say "sorta" because, really, I can't complain when work comes in. But why does it have to be all at once? I already *had* work here, don't my clients know that? But no, they won't space it all out so I can do it all myself, I have to bring in 5 or 6 or 7 other people to help me. And I'm still not sure it'll all get done in time.
But it will. I hope.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Channeling Madeline Kahn--I'm Tired, So Tired
I'm pooped, even!
Did I mention that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? Well, I do. And while I am ecstatic that there are all these news reports about a genetic link that they've found that is tied to this illness, I'm also, well, really, too pooped to pop.
Here's how bad it is: I was too tired to take a shower yesterday. Okay, but I really, really need to take one today, right? Nope, I'm too exhausted to do that.
This is my usual bad weekend. It was the last Sunday in April of '95 that I woke up, finally--and couldn't move. So I'm grateful that it's not that bad, but it hasn't been quite this awful for some time. In addition to really, REALLY needing a shower (thank goodness, in cyberspace, no one can smell you), I've got a ton of work that I need to make some progress on. We won't even discuss all the things around the house that need doing. At this point, I'm just resigned to living like a Collyer brother.
Sigh.
Did I mention that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? Well, I do. And while I am ecstatic that there are all these news reports about a genetic link that they've found that is tied to this illness, I'm also, well, really, too pooped to pop.
Here's how bad it is: I was too tired to take a shower yesterday. Okay, but I really, really need to take one today, right? Nope, I'm too exhausted to do that.
This is my usual bad weekend. It was the last Sunday in April of '95 that I woke up, finally--and couldn't move. So I'm grateful that it's not that bad, but it hasn't been quite this awful for some time. In addition to really, REALLY needing a shower (thank goodness, in cyberspace, no one can smell you), I've got a ton of work that I need to make some progress on. We won't even discuss all the things around the house that need doing. At this point, I'm just resigned to living like a Collyer brother.
Sigh.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Like reading a novel
There was a wonderful piece in the Times this past week about The West Wing, a show that I will miss more than I can possibly say. The writer gets at what the show has meant to me, over and above how I feel about the characters and the actors who portray them. While watching our country being led (or maybe I should say "dragooned") into a world that I can barely stand to live in, it was more than just comforting to be able to lose myself in a world so very much better than it could ever be in real life, one where I would be able to once again be proud to be an American and have hope for the future.
I have to admit to having had a crush on Martin Sheen for many, many years, even before he was in Apocalypse Now, when he still played mostly skeezy lowlife bad guys. But as the years have gone by and I became aware of his activism and his deeply-held beliefs, I have so much respect and admiration for him. The Times article says that he's going to go to college now--I am so very happy for him. I hope he finds the experience of learning as an adult to be as amazing and as wonderful as I did.
These Sundays, I am left with a deep, abiding sadness that lives in my gut. I know it will end soon and I--and so many others--will be bereft of the intelligence, love and humor of this show. It's a sadness that's almost unbearable.
I have to admit to having had a crush on Martin Sheen for many, many years, even before he was in Apocalypse Now, when he still played mostly skeezy lowlife bad guys. But as the years have gone by and I became aware of his activism and his deeply-held beliefs, I have so much respect and admiration for him. The Times article says that he's going to go to college now--I am so very happy for him. I hope he finds the experience of learning as an adult to be as amazing and as wonderful as I did.
These Sundays, I am left with a deep, abiding sadness that lives in my gut. I know it will end soon and I--and so many others--will be bereft of the intelligence, love and humor of this show. It's a sadness that's almost unbearable.
Sundays
Today is Easter Sunday. Makes no never mind to me, I've never been a Christian and I've long since ceased being a believer in any sort of deity. I'm beginning to despair of other human beings, but the Universe is big enough to keep me humble and, just for today, I'll choose to be hopeful.
It's quite lovely out today, though I only got to go out briefly, for the paper. Late afternoon, there were still plenty of copies of the Times out there. When I was growing up in the Bronx, people lined up, sometimes halfway down the long block, waiting for the truck with the Times to show up on Saturday night. Often enough, if you waited until Sunday to get the Times, you wouldn't be able to find any left, so lining up the night before made sense. It was a big neighborhood for the Old Grey Lady. I have a feeling it's not like that anymore. Not even sure there's a candy store on that corner anymore. It's a pretty good bet you can't get a good egg cream there anymore, nor the long, sturdy pretzel rods that were maybe a nickel or a dime back then. The egg cream was a quarter and worth every bit of it.
Ah, nostalgia. Hey, there are few enough good memories from those years, I'll take these and cordon them off so as not to get contaminated. Who am I kidding? The feelings are still there, buried deep. Let's not go there.
I had a hard time today deciding which client's work to get started on next and now that I've made a decision, I'm having a hard time deciding whether to actually work on it today or take the rest of the day off (ha!).
It's time for my nap, though. Maybe more later.
It's quite lovely out today, though I only got to go out briefly, for the paper. Late afternoon, there were still plenty of copies of the Times out there. When I was growing up in the Bronx, people lined up, sometimes halfway down the long block, waiting for the truck with the Times to show up on Saturday night. Often enough, if you waited until Sunday to get the Times, you wouldn't be able to find any left, so lining up the night before made sense. It was a big neighborhood for the Old Grey Lady. I have a feeling it's not like that anymore. Not even sure there's a candy store on that corner anymore. It's a pretty good bet you can't get a good egg cream there anymore, nor the long, sturdy pretzel rods that were maybe a nickel or a dime back then. The egg cream was a quarter and worth every bit of it.
Ah, nostalgia. Hey, there are few enough good memories from those years, I'll take these and cordon them off so as not to get contaminated. Who am I kidding? The feelings are still there, buried deep. Let's not go there.
I had a hard time today deciding which client's work to get started on next and now that I've made a decision, I'm having a hard time deciding whether to actually work on it today or take the rest of the day off (ha!).
It's time for my nap, though. Maybe more later.
Friday, April 14, 2006
I don't wanna!
Don't want to blog right now...so I am.
A friend called me back a little while ago. She returned a call from, oh, I dunno, five days ago? A week? 'S'all right, she's like that sometimes. She made me feel my frustration over my apartment, though. It's such a disaster area and that's really not much of an exaggeration.
Let's not go there.
Also, let's not go into money matters. It's only halfway through the month and I'm beginning to panic. Or, rather, trying not to, which doesn't really work, because if you make the effort not to do something, you're already paying way too much attention to it. So I'll just say that my clients had better get on the ball and write some checks, pronto, and leave it at that.
So much for not going there.
I didn't go out at all today. I slept until around 12:30, which is okay, since I didn't go to sleep until 4 am. I did get up at 10:30 to accept a package from FedEx, but then I fed the cat and went back to sleep. Of course, the cat didn't like what I gave him, but I guess he ate enough to let me sleep. That's not always how it works.
I'm worried about him, he's not eating well at all. He needs to go back to the vet next week.
Wait, shhhh. I think I hear him eating in the kitchen right now.
A friend called me back a little while ago. She returned a call from, oh, I dunno, five days ago? A week? 'S'all right, she's like that sometimes. She made me feel my frustration over my apartment, though. It's such a disaster area and that's really not much of an exaggeration.
Let's not go there.
Also, let's not go into money matters. It's only halfway through the month and I'm beginning to panic. Or, rather, trying not to, which doesn't really work, because if you make the effort not to do something, you're already paying way too much attention to it. So I'll just say that my clients had better get on the ball and write some checks, pronto, and leave it at that.
So much for not going there.
I didn't go out at all today. I slept until around 12:30, which is okay, since I didn't go to sleep until 4 am. I did get up at 10:30 to accept a package from FedEx, but then I fed the cat and went back to sleep. Of course, the cat didn't like what I gave him, but I guess he ate enough to let me sleep. That's not always how it works.
I'm worried about him, he's not eating well at all. He needs to go back to the vet next week.
Wait, shhhh. I think I hear him eating in the kitchen right now.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Best offer
One of the errands I ran today was to buy a new lottery ticket. There was a young (well, young to me, he may have been in his 30s) man also waiting, and he had just turned in a ticket that paid him $125. Of course I congratulated him while thinking to myself all the things I could have used that money for and wishing it had been me. Anyway, we got to talking a little bit and I said that I wasn't greedy, I'd be happy to share the $220 million jackpot, we could both win. And he said, No, he'd win and then he'd let me be one of his wives, part of his harem.
Definitely the best offer I'd had in years.
Definitely the best offer I'd had in years.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
whimper
I am so not feeling well today. Mostly, it's from sleep deprivation, I think. I guess the cold, damp weather hasn't helped, even though I haven't been out of the apartment today, not even to get the mail.
I'm waiting for pizza to be delivered, because cooking anything is beyond me at this point and there's nothing microwaveable in the fridge or freezer. I'm going to curl up in bed with the pizza and watch "All The President's Men" on PBS and read some more of Clark Clifford's memoirs (it's fascinating stuff) and hopefully get some decent sleep tonight.
I'm waiting for pizza to be delivered, because cooking anything is beyond me at this point and there's nothing microwaveable in the fridge or freezer. I'm going to curl up in bed with the pizza and watch "All The President's Men" on PBS and read some more of Clark Clifford's memoirs (it's fascinating stuff) and hopefully get some decent sleep tonight.
Friday, April 07, 2006
To sleep, perchance to dream?
Okay, I just started falling asleep trying to think of how to start. This is not good.
Unbelievable how little sleep I got last night and yet I'm functioning. How well remains to be seen, I guess. I did take a "nap" for about an hour or so. I don't think I actually slept, I think I just laid there and rested. But maybe I slept, I understand sleep research has shown that people who don't think they sleep really do.
Anyway, I actually decided to start blogging to get my writing juices flowing again, so I'll actually, y'know, do some. Writing, that is. But a little while ago, I realized I could also use this to help break my spider solitaire addiction. So far, it's not working for either, but at least the five minutes I spend typing this up is not being spent playing spider solitaire. So that's something.
I guess I should get back to work and finish this freakin' tape already.
Unbelievable how little sleep I got last night and yet I'm functioning. How well remains to be seen, I guess. I did take a "nap" for about an hour or so. I don't think I actually slept, I think I just laid there and rested. But maybe I slept, I understand sleep research has shown that people who don't think they sleep really do.
Anyway, I actually decided to start blogging to get my writing juices flowing again, so I'll actually, y'know, do some. Writing, that is. But a little while ago, I realized I could also use this to help break my spider solitaire addiction. So far, it's not working for either, but at least the five minutes I spend typing this up is not being spent playing spider solitaire. So that's something.
I guess I should get back to work and finish this freakin' tape already.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Busy, busy
I've been too busy to post. Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking with it.
Actually, yesterday I had to run to the doctor because I woke up with what felt like an ear infection. Neither the physician's asst. nor the doctor could see anything wrong, so the doctor gave me samples (yay!) of some antihistimines and, well, really I felt better before I took any of them, but I'm taking them anyway, because I said I would and report back. She thinks it might have been that I was congested and the Eustachean tube was being affected.
Between you, me and the lamppost, it could very well have been a dental thing. It's not like I've seen a dentist in the last 10 years and that was just one cleaning. But let's not go there, shall we? Suffice it to say, if anything ever happens to me, they will not be able to identify me through dental records, because there aren't any.
So I'm behind on my work today, partly due to the above, partly due to just taking it easy (so what else is new?) and partly due to losing my mind with a client's job that someone did for me--she did it wrong and her software is screwy--but I got to make my worker nutsoid in the process, so we're even.
Why, oh, why didn't I just win the damn lottery this week? It would have solved so many of my problems. I've always liked the sentiment behind the t-shirt that says "Lord, let me prove to you that winning the lottery won't spoil me."
More tomorrow...maybe.
Actually, yesterday I had to run to the doctor because I woke up with what felt like an ear infection. Neither the physician's asst. nor the doctor could see anything wrong, so the doctor gave me samples (yay!) of some antihistimines and, well, really I felt better before I took any of them, but I'm taking them anyway, because I said I would and report back. She thinks it might have been that I was congested and the Eustachean tube was being affected.
Between you, me and the lamppost, it could very well have been a dental thing. It's not like I've seen a dentist in the last 10 years and that was just one cleaning. But let's not go there, shall we? Suffice it to say, if anything ever happens to me, they will not be able to identify me through dental records, because there aren't any.
So I'm behind on my work today, partly due to the above, partly due to just taking it easy (so what else is new?) and partly due to losing my mind with a client's job that someone did for me--she did it wrong and her software is screwy--but I got to make my worker nutsoid in the process, so we're even.
Why, oh, why didn't I just win the damn lottery this week? It would have solved so many of my problems. I've always liked the sentiment behind the t-shirt that says "Lord, let me prove to you that winning the lottery won't spoil me."
More tomorrow...maybe.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Yesterday was very busy. I worked and got ready to prepare dinner for friends at one of their homes. When I got home, I was too exhausted to turn on the computer, or even to watch the show I taped while I was out--The West Wing.
I got around to watching it a little while ago and I remain kind of devastated. I started crying at the opening credits, so you can just imagine what I was like by the end. But maybe I'm just sleep deprived. I do need a nap.
But, really, I'm going to miss that show so very, very much when it's gone. I miss Leo/John Spencer. I'm glad Josh and Donna finally got together--but I want to see them hug, snuggle, SOMEthing. And I want to know that they stay together. Selfish of me, I know, but since it's the show's last hurrah, they can do anything they want, no matter how unrealistic.
Okay, the cat's yelling at me, I better go see if I can get him to eat more food. And then I'll take a nap.
I got around to watching it a little while ago and I remain kind of devastated. I started crying at the opening credits, so you can just imagine what I was like by the end. But maybe I'm just sleep deprived. I do need a nap.
But, really, I'm going to miss that show so very, very much when it's gone. I miss Leo/John Spencer. I'm glad Josh and Donna finally got together--but I want to see them hug, snuggle, SOMEthing. And I want to know that they stay together. Selfish of me, I know, but since it's the show's last hurrah, they can do anything they want, no matter how unrealistic.
Okay, the cat's yelling at me, I better go see if I can get him to eat more food. And then I'll take a nap.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Wow
Three days in a row. Okay, at some point, I'll stop being meta about this and just write, right?
Today my work is progressing slowly, but progressing. I had a nice call from my friend in California, Loretta and I'm eating small portions of food (so far--I expect it'll get worse from here on in). I even got almost a decent amount of sleep last night. Or should I say "night"-I went to be around 4 am, cat got me up at 6 and then I went back to sleep until the alarm went off at 9:40, turned it off and woke up again around 11:15. Then I showered, checked my bank account online, went to the bank to make a deposit, picked up a few things at the supermarket and came home. Oh, yeah, before the bank, I stopped off at the post office to put my rent check in the mail. Go figure, the first time this year I'm on time with that and it's April Fool's Day.
I keep feeling like I need a nap, but I haven't had one yet. I need to eat some more, watch the tape of "House" from last night and chop some garlic for tomorrow. And I need to make a lot more progress on this job, at least another hour, which I'm sure I can do, but more would be better, which I'm not so sure about. Oh, well.
I think this is quite possibly the most boring post evah.
Today my work is progressing slowly, but progressing. I had a nice call from my friend in California, Loretta and I'm eating small portions of food (so far--I expect it'll get worse from here on in). I even got almost a decent amount of sleep last night. Or should I say "night"-I went to be around 4 am, cat got me up at 6 and then I went back to sleep until the alarm went off at 9:40, turned it off and woke up again around 11:15. Then I showered, checked my bank account online, went to the bank to make a deposit, picked up a few things at the supermarket and came home. Oh, yeah, before the bank, I stopped off at the post office to put my rent check in the mail. Go figure, the first time this year I'm on time with that and it's April Fool's Day.
I keep feeling like I need a nap, but I haven't had one yet. I need to eat some more, watch the tape of "House" from last night and chop some garlic for tomorrow. And I need to make a lot more progress on this job, at least another hour, which I'm sure I can do, but more would be better, which I'm not so sure about. Oh, well.
I think this is quite possibly the most boring post evah.
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