What I learned from poker

Maybe it was on some PSA that aired during a televised poker event or maybe it was on one of the online games where I saw this, but they say you shouldn't play/gamble when you're tired or depressed or drunk. Well, for the last few days, at least one of those kept me from posting here.

Give up? Okay, I was tired! More than that, exhausted. But that's why they call it chronic fatigue syndrome. It's the disability that keeps on ... taking.

Anyway, it wasn't just that I couldn't find the energy to write, it was that I didn't think I was capable of being coherent. This happens to me a lot. I'm on a bbs called Echo and I've learned, and sometimes even pay attention to the lessons, not to post on there when I'm worn out, because I end up posting stupid. Which is not to say that I'm not capable of that even when I'm not in a brain fog (my former doctor's term for this symptom), but it becomes much more likely that I'll log in the next day and think, "Why the freakin' hell did I post that?"

I don't think I've learned much else from poker, but then, this may well be one of those posts where I end up logging in tomorrow (or, y'know, whenever, I'm obviously no good at discipline) and thinking, "Why in the hell did I post that?"

But I did want to post, even though I'm still wiped out a bit. I got a lot of sleep last night, finally, but I'm still tired. And all I really want to do is go back to bed and curl up -- and watch TV. Which I can't do, because the TV is dead and I have no cable box and I miss it terribly. I keep looking for the time on the cable box and I have to stop myself from reaching for the headphones I used to listen on at night or reaching for the remote control. I've gotten a lot of reading done, but so far, that's about it. There's so much else to do around here and I'm still not doing it.

On the other hand, I'm getting good at finding torrents to download and watching those. It's just not all that comfortable sitting in this chair for so many hours. I of course keep getting up when I'm working, but when I'm watching something, I don't take breaks, really.

It seems like a nice day out there. I should go out later and get the Times. And milk. I was planning, or should I say "planning", to go to Macy's and get some undies and socks and things, but now I think that's going to be tomorrow. It's after 2 p.m. and I suppose I should have something for breakfast.

Yeah, it's one of those days.