Been a while

It's not that I've conquered my solitaire addiction, really. It's just been tamed a little. Plus, I've been so busy, it's sort of gone by the wayside. Not that I don't still waste too much time with it. More that it's less "too much time" than before.

Lots of things have been happening. My knee is pretty bad and I'm not sure what's going to happen next and I have a lot of anxiety, not to mention anger about it. Mostly because the doctors aren't communicating with me very well. Or at least that's who I'm choosing to focus my anger and blame on. It does no good to be angry at the Universe, right? But I'm beginning to realize that it's okay that my appointment on the 17th is "only" a consultation, because I can make this new doctor tell me everything that I need/want to know about what happened, why it happened, can it happen again? What's these shots I'm going to get and what's the process I'll be going through? Does he really have to lie about my diagnosis to get the medicine? Stuff like that.

I'm hoping that, in the meanwhile, I'm making good choices about how to take care of myself. I think I'm doing better, now that I know that I'm not supposed to be walking a lot (thanks for telling me that the week before I spent a day doing a lot of walking and ending up screaming in pain, docs!). I'm icing, icing, icing and resting--some days I'm better at these things than others, of course, but at least I'm not in enormous pain anymore.

Changing subjects, I'm a bit worried about my mother. I haven't told her about my knee yet and I'm hoping to avoid having to. Good thing she's in Florida. Last I heard, my stepfather had gone into a rehab facility. I wonder how he's doing, too, but mostly in relation to how my mother's doing and how she's handling his being out of the hospital, but not yet home. I also wonder how their finances are holding up.

I kind of like not being there, not being directly responsible for these things, but it's also frustrating. I really hope I never have to take over my mother's care, because I'm afraid I'll really suck at it. It's not like I've got my own finances in particularly good shape.

Looking forward to mah jongg this week. I'll have to take car service home, but I'm okay with that, it's worth it to me. But I really, really need a real vacation this year and, the way things are going, I'm not getting one. But ya never know, I guess. I'm taking this one day at a time and today was a good day. Gorgeous weather and I did get out for a little walk. Just around the corner, bought a banana and a scouring pad for dishes, mailed a Netflix DVD back. Met three different neighbors on the way back and had a nice conversation with them, mostly explaining why I'm on crutches. It reminded me of trying to walk with my mother when I was a child, she could hardly walk a few yards in our neighborhood without stopping to talk to someone.

Okay, that's enough rambling. I need to lie down for a bit, then finish a job and start a new one. Maybe I'll be back soon. Maybe I won't.